Worst way to build consistency

Consistency experts love their golden rule: never miss twice in a row. Break the chain once, get back on immediately, and you'll build unstoppable habits.

Sounds smart, right? Except it's solving the wrong problem entirely.

This advice creates what I call "perfectionist paralysis." The moment you miss that second day, your brain decides you've already failed. Game over. Time to restart Monday with a completely new plan.

But here's what the research actually shows about people who stick with things long-term: they're not more disciplined. They're just better at planning for obstacles.

Think about it. Your most successful friend isn't the one who never misses a workout. She's the one who has three different backup plans when life gets messy. A 15-minute living room routine for sick kid days. A walking meeting strategy for crazy work weeks. A "bare minimum" version that keeps her moving when everything else falls apart.

The secret isn't perfect consistency. It's flexible consistency.

Your brain actually responds better to adaptive systems than rigid rules. When you build in options instead of demands, you remove the all-or-nothing thinking that makes people quit. You create multiple pathways to success instead of one perfect path that crumbles the moment real life shows up.

This is exactly why most workout plans fail women after 35. They're designed for someone with endless energy and zero competing priorities. But your body and your schedule don't work that way anymore. That's why building flexible systems matters so much more than following rigid rules.

I'm just glad you're here, thinking about this stuff with me. Because the women who understand this difference? They're the ones who actually make lasting changes.

Talk soon,

Riley "flexibility beats perfection" Green